Mistaken Identity
by Tari Ancalime
Summary: a crossover between Star Wars and Moulin Rouge. Obi-Wan and Anakin jump into a time portal and end up in 1900 Paris.
1. Mistaken Identity Chapter 1

Mistaken Identity  
  
The cold winter rain ricocheted off the roof as Christian sat in his flat. Tap tap tap. He had been in his room for months. He wouldn't come out till he finished his book about Satine and the Moulin rouge. He stared out the window. Satine…why? Why did she have to leave him? "The end." He typed. He had finished it. The weather outside was lousy, just like he felt, lousy. He felt there was no need to go on. He couldn't live without Satine. Life just didn't seem worth living. Knock knock. "Who's there?" Christian asked in a monotone depressed voice.  
  
"It's Toulouse. We are all very worried about you, Christian." He said outside the door. Christian unlocked it.  
  
"There's nothing to be worried about, I'm fine." Somehow, Toulouse, the Doctor, the Argentinean and Satie weren't convinced. They looked around his flat. It was a complete mess. Papers everywhere, dishes with food still on them. It was disgusting. They could tell Christian was depressed.  
  
"Christian, you've been in here for a year! You need to get out…" Toulouse advised.  
  
"So, we've decided to take the liberty of taking you out for a true bohemian night in Paris!" Satie said.  
  
"Now?" Christian muttered.  
  
"Heh heh, well first, we have to fix you up a little." The Argentinean thought. They sent him to the bathroom to shave. While he did that, they picked out a suit for him.  
  
"I'm gonna regret this…" Christian came out of the bathroom.  
  
The night scene in Paris was incredible. Lights everywhere, bohemian revolutionaries all over. Christian remembered when he was one of them. But that was a year ago. He doesn't know if he could ever go back because it will remind him of…her-  
  
"Now, whatever you do," Toulouse whispered to the others minus Christian, "don't mention the "S" word!"  
  
"You mean shit? But, you just said that yesterday!" Satie was baffled.  
  
Toulouse slapped his head. "No, you stupid git! I mean Satine!"  
  
"What the hell does he have to do with anything?" The Argentinean asked.  
  
"NO! Not Satie! I said Satine. God, you guys are annoying…"  
  
"What's going on? What are you guys talking about?" Christian asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing! Absolutely nothing, Christian!" Toulouse laughed nervously while Christian just rolled his eyes. Suddenly, there was a huge gust of wind. A piece of paper flew into Christians eyes, blocking his view. As he looked at the paper, it had some weird writing in it. "Hey, guys, look at this! What do you think it means?" Christian passed it on to Toulouse.  
  
Toulouse was puzzled. "Hmm. 'Nes kin od wedi mos. Keod tifw ta ni.' Don't know."  
  
Over at the Eiffel Tower, a man and woman were standing under it. They were looking up the Eiffel Tower to admire how tall it was. Suddenly, next to them, the ground began to shake. "Earth quake? Impossible!" The man said. Then, the scenery started swirling into a whirlpool as a portal opened.  
  
  
  
In the middle of a desert, a battle was going. Anakin winced each time the lightsabers clashed. "Obi-wan, can I-"  
  
"No, get out of here!" Obi-wan managed to say as he fought a Waki demon.  
  
"But I think I can take him! I am 17 you know!" Anakin reasoned.  
  
"You will do no such thing! Can't you see I'm busy?" Obi-wan struggled. Anakin started pouting and stood behind the demon. He put his hands on his hips and sighed. "Baby." Obi-wan thought.  
  
"Come on! I know I can ta-" Obi-wan then stabbed the demon in the stomach and the green insides of it splattered all over Anakin.  
  
"Eww." Anakin said as he wiped green puss away from his eyes so he could see. Obi-wan snickered. Anakin walked away towards the ship. "Never again!" He muttered.  
  
"I told you you weren't ready to handle a Waki demon!" Obi-wan laughed.  
  
"Well, what's the point of being a jedi if I can't even fight a simple demon?"  
  
"Don't worry, you will…"  
  
"Not at this rate!"  
  
Outside the ship, Obi-wan was practising his jedi fighting movements, when Anakin, all clean and refreshed, approached him. "So what do you think about this Waki demon thing? How did they get here?"  
  
"I don't know. They are unlike anything I've ever seen. Their hearts are in their stomachs. No such creature like that lives in Tatooine. I mean, I've seen some pretty weird creatures in my lifetime and have never seen ones like the Waki. I sense that they came here by use of transportation other than a spacecraft."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Well, it's a type of machine that people use to travel through space."  
  
"I know that! I mean what is the other use of transportation?"  
  
"Oh, it's a time portal."  
  
"A time portal?" Anakin gasped. Suddenly, the scenery began to shift and swirl about in the shape of a…oh let me see…a time portal! Anakin and Obi- wan looked at each other. They couldn't jump in the portal for they would face certain death. Then, they heard a strange voice behind them, but off in the distance. They couldn't quite make out what it was saying. Then, it was closer, just a few feet away. "Meesa remember yousa! Yousa saved meesa life!" The creature said.  
  
Obi-wan and Anakin looked at each other and screamed in horror. In unison, they yelled, "Ahhhhhh! It's Jar Jar Binks!" Without thinking, they both leapt into the portal. 


	2. Mistaken Identity Chapter 2

After coming back from a pub, an old, raggy woman approached Christian and company. "No! You mustn't read from it! You read from the Akatna book!" The woman yelled.  
  
"What are you talking about, old crone?" Toulouse asked.  
  
"You read from it! Now all hell will break loose!" She ran away.  
  
"Huh. That was weird. What was she talking about?" Satie asked.  
  
"It must've been from that piece of paper I read from. But what was all about that cat book?" Christian realized.  
  
The next morning, Christian was awakened by loud talking in the street. He looked outside and saw a huge crowd. He quickly got dressed and ran outside. He saw his friends included in the crowd. "Hey, what's going on?" He looked over the crowd to see two strangely dressed guys trying to get by the crowd. "What ever happened to 'try to blend in. Don't make it obvious that we're Jedis?'" Anakin yelled over the noise of the crowd to Obi-wan who had his back to him.  
  
"How was I to know that we would stand out with these robes?" Obi-wan yelled back.  
  
"They must have some force field keeping us from escaping. Some mystical power in this strange land."  
  
"Really?" Obi-wan asked.  
  
"No, I'm just trying to make myself feel better."  
  
"I have an idea. On the count of three, we run through the crowd and run as fast as we can."  
  
"Sounds good to me." Anakin sighed.  
  
"One…two…three!"  
  
Christian watched as the two men disappeared.  
  
"…and the strangest thing, Christian, is that he looked just like you!" Satie informed.  
  
"What? But I don't have any brothers! And certainly not any that live wherever they came from…" Christian wandered through the streets. While he was in a dark alley, the old crone approached him again. Her eyes were red. "Whoa!" he gasped. He started running. Even though she wasn't behind him anymore, he kept running. You never know when they might-  
  
"Sorry!" Christian fell to the ground after he bumped into someone. He looked up, and it was those strange men that just arrived. Obi-wan and Christian stared at each other.  
  
"Toulouse was right." Christian realized. "So, where are you guys from?"  
  
"A galaxy far far away." Anakin said.  
  
"Huh? Well, anyway, how did you guys get here?"  
  
"We came through a portal." Obi-wan said.  
  
"That's probably what the old crone was talking about! Well, whatever you do, stay away from some old lady with red eyes."  
  
"This is really strange that we look alike. I didn't sense this from the force!" Obi-wan said.  
  
"Who's the force? Is he your ruler?"  
  
"Uh, never mind. It's a long story." 


End file.
